How much noise is in your life?
Why I Photograph
Dredging through my files I found this old video — a visualization of the kind of stuff I write about now only without a scooter as subject.
Back in 2000 I was in graduate school working on a degree in art and learning to explore my self and the things that motivate me. After a life of saying (and believing) “My work speaks for itself”, I was pushed to examine, explore, doubt and second guess everything I believed to be true. Or at least those things related to art and photography. I resisted at first but slowly came to realize the value in understanding what was driving me (or not).
In one class taught by a member of the painting faculty we were challenged to respond and react to a variety of ideas and questions using video — an attempt to expand our ability to think and talk about why we work. As I thought about photography I began to realize there was little motivation regarding beauty, light or form. What I found was a method to help strengthen my tolerance for noise — the demands of earning a living be one part of it.
I was doing this before I bought the Vespa scooter and started riding and blogging. But those things serve the same role now. Last night I was talking to my wife about this when she asked why I try to do so much. It’s not that I want to accomplish things — it really is a need to get the noise out of my head. It builds up, a nervous, sometime frenetic energy that just needs drained like a recurring boil. Nothing cosmic or romantic — just a terrible aspect of how my brain works.
So the video is a quick reflection of the sort of thing I write about now on Scooter in the Sticks. We usually had three days to make a video. Was sort of fun. While classmates decided to use friends and actors in their videos I always chose myself. I’m always available, show up on time and don’t complain.
When I’m on a deadline and don’t want any additional aggravation — I ride alone.