Reflections on Life
Sometimes I lie.
Last time I posted I mentioned snow was for Vespa riding and not for transporting post-surgical patients home. Turns out only half that statement is true. Riding the Vespa in the snow part — not so much. During the past two weeks there has been plenty of opportunities to demonstrate the validity of my claim. But the Vespa has remained in the garage next to the snow blower on each of the wonderfully snowy days.
I have my reasons.
Snowy Landscapes
Despite the urge to venture out on the Vespa into the snowy landscapes I felt my obligation to help with my wife’s surgical recovery outweighed any short term pleasure i might derive from the heightened risk of riding in the snow.
The past two weeks have been an exercise in readjustment — for Kim in regard to changes in pain and mobility. For me as it relates to how I manage the myriad details of personal care and maintaining the rest of life.
For a seat of the pants kind of guy, it’s been a challenge.
A Wonderful Opportunity for Personal Growth
The dogs have noticed that I’ve been spending more time with Kim than with them. They patiently hover hoping to remind me that there’s joy to be had outside the backdoor. All I need do is pull on my boots and move.
When someone you love is facing a surgical recovery I’ve discovered it not only changes their life, but it requires some changes on my part. I knew that. But I didn’t realize what that meant on the ground. The act of letting go of my expectations of Kim and myself, my plans and desires, and engage the needs as they arrive on a minute by minute basis required some personal growth on my part.
I’m happy to report I’ve become a reasonably decent manservant. And nurse.
Photographic Therapy
The camera is my friend. I’ve always been able to lean on photography as a meditative process during which I can sort out more than the visual information in front of me. The process is relaxing and can free the brain to consider changes otherwise difficult to understand or even see. So I’ve been wandering a lot with the camera. The camera has been taking me around the house, the yard and town.
Still Riding
While I can’t take the long rides I enjoy so much, I have been able to get out on the scooter to run errands or in this image ride to a chiropractic appointment. There have been plenty of snow free days where I could manage an hour on the road.
Amazing what an hour on two wheels can do for a person.
A quick update on Kim’s surgical recovery.
While there’s still a lot of pain as a result of the nerve compression mobility is increasing and some of the impaired function is returning. The neurosurgeon has suggested it will take some months before she sees the full effects of the surgical relief.
One interesting aspect of this medical experience that I was not aware of — neurosurgeons make house calls. Imagine our shock when the first post-surgical appointment was being made and the surgeon says, “You don’t need to make the two hour drive to the office. I’ll just stop by your house.” Turns out he lives near us and stopped on the way home. Removed the stainless steel staples from Kim’s back in the livingroom. And some bonding with Junior and Lily was good for scheduling a second house call next week.
It’s the unexpected gifts that make life sweet.
When I had back surgery in December, my spousal unit became a wonderful manservant. Now that I can do a few things, he likes to protest that I’m trying to take over.
You are two of a special brotherhood. Thank you!
Good morning Steve.
Will include you and Kim in my prayers and pray for a speedy and complete recovery.
Have a good day.
Karl
Thanks Karl. It’s a beautiful day.
It’s an honor to be part of the brotherhood. Glad you were able to avail yourself of one during your recovery!
Whew – had been thinking about how Kim was doing at this point. Glad to hear she’s gradually on the mend, however trying that is at the moment.
Since I’ve known Ann (roughly five years, married since last June), she’s been though two surgeries, a replaced knee and shoulder, and yeah, there were a lot of day-to-day changes, especially given the fact that we were now no longer living in everything-just-a-block-away confines of Gotham, but the largely-suburban wilds of Asbury Park. Interestingly, my then-recent acquisition of my Vespa GTS was an absolute boon to my manservant role both times, with me being the go-to guy for shopping, prescription procurement, Et Cetera, even throughout Winter. And the riding, however brief and utilitarian, was therapeutic for me…something that wasn’t exactly lost on the wife.
Here’s to a solid and steady recovery for Kim!
(BTW, is that a Fuji X-Pro in that selfie? A recent addition?)
I think every male should receive some sort of manservant training. They don’t teach it in high school!
The weather and my feeling of needing to rush for the past few weeks have limited my errand running on the Vespa. But when I do manage to get on the scoot it does recharge my batteries.
Regarding the camera — yes, it is a Fuji X-Pro1. I bought it some months ago as a walk around camera in hopes that it would be a parallel to my Leica M6. That plan has been successful. The camera is quirky as hell and does not function as one would expect a digital camera to function. Especially focusing. But I’ve mastered the changes involved and it is a wonderful tool. I’m shooting a lot with it. Bought it used from KEH along with two lenses — the 35mm F1.4 and the 18mm F2. Fantastic performance. And I love the optical viewfinder.
Great to hear Kim is recovering well….and a house call by the surgeon!?! Amazing and gratifying to be sure.
I’ve more than an inkling, of what what you are doing now as care provider and I know you will excel at it.
The scooter will wait….Winter will go and come again….
It’s hard to describe how I feel when I see improvement with Kim. Sometimes it’s subtle and easier for me to see than her. I am her number one cheerleader.
The scooter is benched for now until I replace the exhaust gasket. A 30 minute fix. Should have done it when it was sunny and 70 degrees. Now its colder again and raining. Smart move on my part.
Wow, a neurosurgeon that makes house calls. Personal service they way it used to be. I am glad that Kim is recovering even if the pace is slow.
Take care of each other and all will be well.
Yeah, pretty amazing in this day and age. He’s a great surgeon. And a great doctor. I suspect this is part of the reason why.
Each day brings new things. Time and persistence will get Kim back on her feet and the two of us out in the world together.
The ability for us to adapt, adjust and be flexible as the years acrue is supposed to be good for us and what better time than this season of denial for those of us who obsess over our two wheeled wards. Sounds like things are moving along nicely for the two of you Steve ?
Hmmm … an F1.4 and a F2! Nice and quick, just like the GTS?
I try to keep my mind, spine and expectations flexible. That should keep me young right??
Things are moving along in a positive manner on all fronts at the moment. I’m along for the ride.
The lenses are fast. Can’t be happier with them. The camera as well. But it’s not for everyone, that’s for sure.
Thank you for posting an update. I was wondering how the recovery was going. It does sound like you are going through scooter withdrawal.
I’m slowly emerging from the scooter withdrawal. It’s rough though!
So wonderful to see your update, Steve!
I love to see you think through your emotions here, just in case you still had any question about the level of sharing that people would appreciate. 🙂
Your care and kindness are being rewarded by the universe in the form of a neurosurgeon that makes house calls…and loves dogs! Oh, and those brief, but necessary, scooter rides.
I suppose someone will suggest I shut up or quit whining if I step over a line regarding emotion. So far I’ve been pretty reserved.
We have been blessed. The neurosurgeon is a gift along with so much else. The scooter rides have stopped momentarily while I do some wrenching.
Glad to hear Kim is making progress, and definitely hope that continues! It sounds like you are doing a good job taking care of her. Not bad for a seat-of-the-pants kind of guy.
It’s a slow process that’s for sure. The neurosurgeon projects June before she turns the corner. Time will tell. Until then my riding will be sporadic I think. Or at least not epic!