Embracing the Sunny Days
Into every life a little rain must fall. The same can be said of any relationship or marriage. It can’t always be sunshine and scooter rides. Two ambulance rides to the ER for my wife in one week along with some days in the hospital brings a reality to the phrase, “In sickness and in health.”
I’ve not posted anything since the end of November. Distraction is my claim. I’ve been adventuring. Just not in the usual manner.
Dogs and Neurosurgeons
There has been little in the way of routine or normal activity of late save for the demands of the two canine companions — Lily (left) and Junior. For the dogs the days unwind in much the same way as they always have with food, play and hanging out. I suspect they do know something is different though.
For my wife and I it’s a new adventure with a rocky road leading toward a neurosurgeon. For whatever thoughts I’ve given to the existential, I’ve always tried, or wanted, to consider life about experiencing each moment as it arrives. It’s not about the pursuit of happiness (though happiness does indeed come), but rather looking for the magic of life in each moment, good or bad. Easy to consider when things are going well. More difficult when they’re not.
Right now the road is rocky and it’s difficult to know what’s around the bend. Holding hands, Kim and I are plodding along. There’s little time for much more.
Steve Williams Relaxing
Kim drew this picture of me while I was sleeping in a chair next to her hospital bed. I told her she styled me like a character from Todd Hayne’s film Velvet Goldmine. This is as close to having eye makeup on me that she’ll probably get.
Spending time in hospital rooms gives a person time to think. If you can get past the obvious.
Vespa Dreams
I’ve not been on the scooter since the first trip to the ER. Staying close to home is necessary for now. And a pleasant surprise has been how the situation has opened other doors of adventure — of the mind and body. In the meantime the scooter waits quietly in the cold garage for it’s next ride. Whenever that might be.
The picture above was made two weeks ago on a fine, cold fall ride. The bright sun and Tucano Urbano muffs made for a pleasant ride despite the temperatures hovering in the upper 30s (Fahrenheit).
Red Hair
I don’t remember the last time I brushed Kim’s red hair. Unless you’ve been involved with a redhead it’s hard to understand the secret culture they’re part of. It’s a special experience and a diversion from the normal path that involves riding.
It’s hard to know what the days will bring in terms of riding. There are some new projects afoot and things that keep Kim and I engaged on this exceptional medical/surgical landscape.
If nothing else, it’s a wonderful opportunity for personal growth. All part of that notion of, “In sickness and in health.”
Steve, This sounds a bit scary, to say the least. Wishing you and your wife all the best and hopefully you can have a good Christmas at home before surgery becomes a reality. Sending both of you good thoughts and much light!
Thank you for your kind words of support.
Good morning Steve. Please be assured that I will keep you and Kim in my prayers trusting in the promise of God: “Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver you.” I pray that God’s love and strength will carry you through good and bad days and that if there is anything else you might need that you will let us know. “The prayers of a righteous man accomplishes much.”
Karl
Thank you Karl. I often forget to ask for strength — for myself and for Kim. I get lost sometimes in the why questions — why is this happening to her…
Hmmm. Don’t know what to say. Hope the two of you can find some celebration in the Christmas season. Don’t be afraid to ask if you need help with something, dog walking if you can’t be there, anything.
Thanks Robert. I appreciate the offers of support. So far things are manageable. We’re hoping that stays the same through the holidays.
Steve, you have my thoughts and prayers for Kim’s quick diagnosis and recovery. My Kathy has taken us through a few adventures in hospitaland but we always emerge together and grateful, she’s responsible for most of the good stuff, I just tag along mostly miffed that we have yet another hill to climb (that would actually be Kath’s take, mine would be a valley to negotiate). I hope you and Kim are soon back on the hilltop.
These situations are made better, if that’s possible, by two people together rather than being alone. While we negotiate the hills and valleys we try to remember that there’s still much to be grateful.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It helps to know others get through these things.
Sending prayers for you and your wife. Stay positive!?
Thanks! We’re trying to stay on the positive road.
Steve, you and Kim are prominently in my thoughts and I wish your beautiful red-headed wife a speedy recovery from whatever gremlins are causing her this upset. Life has a habit of lobbing awkward curve balls just when everything else is proceeding swimmingly. You and I already know this to be true from our own trips to the Emergency Room. Kim has the best care where she is and this, coupled with the love of a good man, is surely a good place for her to start her road to recovery.
Best wished to you both.
Keith Talbot (Hampshire UK)
You’re right Keith about life lobbing awkward curve balls. I suppose there’s a lesson in there somewhere about taking things for granted. Like health.
Hopefully things will proceed in a positive, if not awkward, manner.
Thanks for the kind words of support. We do appreciate them.
Thanks so much for the post Steve. Checking each morning for an instalment I commented that something must be up. Our thoughts and prayers are with Kim and your family.
Yeah, I usually post more frequently when life is easy and I can sketch out my thoughts. And ride. Having to make some adjustments of late I didn’t have the energy or time to create any installments. But things are finding a rhythm where that may change.
And thank you for your prayers.
Hope things are getting better re neurosurgeon search, hope Kim is faring better!
She has an appointment just after Christmas. We’ll see what the future holds then.
Hi, Steve,
It seems as if the gods are against us at times…and believe me, as we grow more aged, those times can become more and more frequent. But, as most of us do pull through these difficult times, we come out of them with a stronger, more vibrant life system.
It’s enough to know that, in all of history, we have the best, brightest, most talented physicians probably in the world. So all we have to do is hang on and go for the ride with them, and be thankful for all of the advantages we do have at our disposal.
Good luck to your wife, and to you in going through these trying times…and don’t worry about us here in the hinterlands who are going a little longer between your photos and riding thoughts…we’re tough…sigh!
I hope you’re right Karl. Kim has had a long road of wrestling with her body. She continues to mystify me with her ability to cope with the large and small indignities that surface. She’s retained the same youthful excitement and wonder that she had when we first met over 25 years ago.
We’re lucky and grateful to be able to access the medicine you describe. We’ve been riding along with the medical community for some time now.
It was spitting snow this morning. I see that as great riding weather!
Any trip in an ambulance isn’t good. I hope that things are improving for Kim. And I can definitely see you in the drawing. I wish you and your family the best for the upcoming holidays.
Amazing how fast the ambulance gets her. Five minutes both times. With a driver and two EMTs. When I think about the times we used to think about moving to the wilderness, we were young and didn’t have a lot of health concerns. It’s different now…
Steve- a huge brotherly hug of support to you and your bride. I’m sure you realize your entire community is there in support of you two – so true.
May Kim recover fully and swiftly from whatever condition she is dealing with and may you find a sense of calmness during this venture.
Breathe.
Thanks Floyd. A long time has passed since you made your comment. And Kim has worked her way through a complex back surgery and is on the road to recovery. While I was answering comments I heard her get out of bed herself and get to the bathroom and then back in bed — all without my help. That is a recent development.
Your wishes, along with those of others, regarding calmness have been a blessing of something to remember!
Hugs to you and Kim. Our thoughts are with you as well and we are hoping for a speedy recovery and/or diagnosis.
Just keep holding hands and know that love is stronger than anything life can throw at you.
Thanks for you kind thoughts. We’ll keep holding hands.
Thinking of you both and wishing you the highest good and greatest healing.
Thank you Maestro!
Steve: It’s a bit eerie reading this as my own redheaded companion has come to the (hopeful) end of several years of assorted medical calamities, the last one fairly serious, but thankfully manageable. All I can do is cross fingers and hope for a good outcome for Kim right now, and being able to reflect upon “close calls” together for some time to come.
Both of us swore, when younger, that we would never be like those “old” people always talking about their medical conditions. Understand now what happens…
Steve – lots of thoughts roiling around, but most of all, keeping bothyou and Ms. Kim in my thoughts and prayers for a smooth recovery. Your love and care for her will conquer all. God Bless.
Thank you Roberto. We’re both working to conquer the hurdles that appear!
Good luck. Hospitals require patience and luck and a sense of the absurd. In that vein I offer some lines by Houseman – reflections of a precocious youth figuring for himself that time is short (at age 20, what a brat).
Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.
And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
So plan to see some cherry blossoms next spring.
My supply of patience was definitely called upon. Fortunately, I did not run out. Some time to reflect on the experience has helped add to the patience supply as well.
Thanks for the poem — we both want to see the cherry blossoms. Kim’s surgeon says she’ll be in a much better place come spring…
Dear Steve and Kim,
Know that my thoughts and all my support accompany you despite the ocean that separates us.
Courage.
Have a good Christmas.
Cher Steve et Kim,
Sachez que mes pensées et tout mon soutien vous accompagnent malgré l’océan qui nous sépare.
Courage.
Passez de bonnes fêtes de Noël.
Laurent. (France)
Thank you Laurent. And so sorry for the long delay in responding to you. Was shocking to read “Christmas” in your comment. The days have sped by as Kim and I have been swimming in this medical journey…
I knew when I saw the title of the post it was not something I wanted to read in the early morning with a warm drink. I have saved it until life around me is settled in the evening as I was sure what I was going to read would be unsettling. Things are calm and still here and I am able to take in all the feelings and emotions the post conveys. Concern, the unknown, scared,love….it is all there. I am distraught for people I have never met in the flesh but feel I know so well. My thoughts will be positive for you both. I await the time, which I hope for you two is soon, that the I can again read your posts in the calm of the early morning knowing that all is well in your world.
I read of your family situation yesterday December 13, and felt I was not in quite the
best frame of mind to reply. Having followed your blog for some time realize your family
was under severe pressure, first with your heart and circulatory problems. The shunt has obviously helped you. No doubt the love and care provided by Kim ensured you came through the whole process with flying colours.
I also well recall your blog posting of the wedding of your daughter and how you were able to photograph “her” special day.
And recall too when you first acquired Junior, and then later Kim acquired Lily. The photograph of the two dogs side by side exemplifies the companionship provided
by the two dogs and indirectly the companionship of you and Kim.
The shoe is now on the other foot; your wife is ill. Now it is your turn to help the family grouping. And the photograph of your wife’s long red hair is perhaps the best example of love between two married people. And as the health situation is currently your wife’s; thought what would happen if some form of surgery removed those wonderful tresses?
I shudder tio think of that!
The unknown factor with any of us as we age is mostly our physical and yes too, our mental health. Not knowing specifically Kim’s problem may only assume the two of you are together, she looked after you, now it is your turn.
And as I have noted here previously my health has not been good. Ambulance rides can be best described as “get it over quick,” a poorly sprung truck chassis for the undercarriage ensures not a smooth ride regardless of the length of the journey. Like Kim, my four different ambulance rides this current year have been mercifully short, less than each 15 minutes and too, my very long length meant end doors closing on feet often happened; had to scrunch to get all of me inside.
Then there is the too short length of gurney in the hospital, and the wait to be examined.
Kim shall be spending Christmas in hospital I suspect, with you at her side. Any chance you could have a bed in the room with her?
And then there is the wait for a solution. Thankfully you did not move to a rural area to dwell, suspect Boalsburg is rural enough. And you have a world class medical facility on your doorstep which no doubt is a bonus as well.
The wait, the consultations with others in the medical field. It goes on and on. And we all figure we shall not be ill as we age; you’ve retired however you also need to keep a free happy existence. All these bumps in the road of life can be oh so frustrating.
Shall be thinking of your two as you venture through this current situation; all shall be well, trust whatever deity you believe in…
Steve,
FB reminded me to check out your blog…it’s been a while. So sorry to hear of your challenges. It’s wonderful to have and be able to offer support during rough times. Funny how “for better or worse” seems so silly when those vows are first read.
May you both weather this storm well, and manage to enjoy the Holiday season in the midst of it all.
There are a lot of things that seem silly when you’re young — retirement, health insurance, diet, sleep…. The marriage vows are what they are for a reason I suppose. “Worse” is filled with so many emotions. I’m grateful to be present enough to help Kim. It could easily be reversed.
Hope you have a fine holiday as well.
I’m glad you are there with her. Here’s hoping the rockiness subsides. Wishing you both all the best.
Thanks Kathy. We’re wrestling the challenges.
Steve, I am late, as always, but had to add my good wishes and encouragement. I hope that things are already better, and know that your care and love will help your wife through. <3
I’m even later. Dozens and dozens of unanswered comments. We appreciate your good wishes and encouragement though. It’s been a rough few weeks but things are definitely moving forward in a positive way even though much slower and painfully than anticipated. One day at a time…
I am glad things are improving, even if ever so slowly. Continued good wishes for your wife’s recovery, and your sanity. 😉
I agree that kind and thoughtful commentary has been the most unexpected benefit of blogging, and I am glad to have contributed in a small way. Take care.