Heart, Mind and Baubles
There was a time when Valentine’s Day was a puzzle to solve and find the precise gift or surprise that reflected the depth and breadth of my love and commitment. While not strictly measured by dollars, it often involved considerable investment of money, time, thought and energy. Sitting here writing I can’t remember a single “thing” that resulted from said investment. They’re lost in the collective mass of things we’ve collected in a life.
That’s not to say they weren’t appreciated, used or otherwise held value, but at the end of the day I suspect what was remembered was the effort. The act of trying.
As I think of Valentine’s Day now it is not about shared tangible assets. It’s more focused on the the psychic investments two people make in each other; the commitment to being there, through thick and thin, to provide reliable comfort, support and love independent of action or earning.
It’s about the durable concern for one another and holding on through the entire ride that life has prepared. Flowers are nice. And everyone loves candy. And a motorcycle would be a hoot. But none of that matters if you can’t trust someone to have your back. Or be there when you’re sick. Or accept you when you’re miserable.
Valentine’s Day is a monument to the human potential of loving in spite of things not being as you want or expect. When you want to say the very best — it’s not something Hallmark can help with…
My two cents…
This post is part of a month long writing prompt challenge conceived by Kathy at Toadmama.com.
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Well said.
Thanks Robert.
Hear, hear!
Valentine’s Day should be every day…
I gave my girlfriend a report card for valentines day. An actual (humorous) report card grading her on “melt downs”. Then we went to see the movie Jackie. It was pretty depressing, which was good because my girlfriend like depressing movies.
Paul “Doing my duty” Ruby
Maybe you can have a special depressing movie weekend. Requiem for a Dream, Leaving Las Vegas, and finish with Sophie’s Choice…
Wonderfully written!!! My wife left me a little note for when I woke up and I left her a little note for when SHE woke up. Little things mean the most. The many gifts over the years? Who knows what they were or where they are. The notes – we remember.
I agree. The little notes last…
That was beautiful!
A cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin was a more than sufficient offering this morning. I don’t want, or need (or have space to put) more stuff. Just him being there has been the best gift of all.
I agree. Being there with someone — that’s a gift.
I must second an earlier comment:
“Well said!”
Thank you.
One of the the best things I’ve read in a very long time. Thanks
Thank you Shane for your kind words. Hope you had a fine Valentine’s Day.
A simple “I Love You” always works but flowers are a plus.
Yep.