Reflection at the Waterfront Tavern — Lewistown, Pennsylvania
There are things to learn looking in the mirror, or at a photograph. Especially when we’re the subject. I’ve always felt some mystery or lesson lurked just below the surface, just out of reach but close enough to sense that there’s more there than meets the eye. My friend Paul Ruby made this picture while I stared out the window toward the Juniata River as we arrived for breakfast after 94 miles on the road. Looking at it now I can see I was somewhere else, lost in thought in a manner that riding can produce and can leave me drained.
Long before I parked the Vespa outside I had been having a conversation; one I call talking with God.
On the Road
Like so many rides they begin with the shimmering joy of being on the road. Morning, sunshine, cool air and a road rolling out ahead, I feel a sit up straight and ear to ear grin excitement of being alive in the world — a world that seems to belong to me and no one else. In this solitude, even when riding with someone else, I find myself making observations of the landscape sweeping by, puzzling over imagined route choices ahead, and entertaining questions that during most other times remain unasked.
Just beyond the curve at the end of the road in this picture a friend lost his leg in a motorcycle crash some years ago. I’ve often asked if something like that will happen to me. What would I do? How would I react? And before long I’m open to a host of existential questions — those concerns of human existence. Riding provides space to ask “Why?”. Questioning ourselves, our existence, that’s nothing new. Human history is filled with examples of questioning in art and literature. It’s one thing to read about the experience of others coming to terms with existence. Another matter when you’re doing it yourself.
Regardless of your personal beliefs, avenues of spirituality or any other process of questioning or enlightenment, I suspect many riders find themselves coming face to face with themselves on the road and asking questions that don’t always have easy or comfortable answers.
I call it talking to God.
Winding Roads in Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania has an incredible diversity of roads through myriad landscapes and geography. It’s estimated that there are a quarter million miles of roads in Pennsylvania ranking it 11th in the nation. I don’t suspect I’ll travel them all.
Paul and I stopped to admire a small stream gently tumbling through a gap along Bearpen Hollow as we rode down over Stone Mountain and into Belleville, Pennsylvania.
Just 12 miles to the east is a faster route, one with four lanes of controlled access that allows for speed and efficiency. Speed and efficiency. For me, something I choose to escape from rather than embrace. I have few thoughts save for how to deal with the boredom of riding on the super slab.
Amish Country
Rich agricultural scenes and thriving Amish communities make Big Valley almost seem like something from another time. I don’t bother the Amish with my camera but I can say I never tire of seeing horse drawn wagons and buggies trotting along the farm lanes and paved roads. I’ve wondered many questions about a life I’ll never know.
View of the World
The view from the summit of Jacks Mountain is always breathtaking. I look out over the expansive space and feel the tiny space I occupy in the world. The sense of anonymity also creates a bit of freedom in my head to address the fear and regret that inevitably shows itself during a ride when you talk to God.
I’ve spoken to riders who claim to never question themselves, past, present or future, but instead travel through life sure and certain what the road ahead will bring.
That’s not me.
Ducati and Vespa
With four times the horsepower and little additional weight Paul’s Ducati Hypermotard seems a fine riding partner for the Vespa GTS 250 I ride. I’m often asked about the scooter’s ability to “keep up” and from first hand experience it will keep up with any motorcycle traveling the legal speed limits. Anything else is, well, not important. To me at least.
What was to be a quick route to breakfast turned into a long route to lunch. Parked here on the east shore of the Juniata River not far from Mount Union there was still 31 miles to Lewistown along lovely winding roads.
The weather was perfect for riding. And the ride was perfect for talking with God. I asked a lot of questions and released a lot of baggage.
What more could I ask from a ride?
I don’t ponder the infinite. I’m here for a while. If there is an afterlife I’ll find out later. If not, I can’t go back.
I don’t ponder the afterlife. That’s kind of an act of faith. You either believe or you don’t. What I’m referring to is the more rudimentary questions — Why do I keep doing this or that, why can’t I get more interested in taking care of this or that, Why did this have to happen, etc. I can run a pretty rich conversation in my head…
I don’t ponder the infinite as much as I ponder why I’m on the path I am at any given moment. And perhaps more precisely why I choose to make the choices I make. Some seem troublesome yet still I make them. And those conversations I have with the infinite. But where I go at the end — that doesn’t enter into the conversation much.
I appreciate the comments in this thread. Glad I happened upon it in 2020. Not sure it would have been as meaningful to me in 2016.
I suppose we find things when we’re ready for them. Part of having faith that God provides on a schedule not of our own design.
I went back and read that post. A lot was going on in my life back then. And it showed in my writing.
Wow! Thanks for this post. I’ll be pondering it all day.
Glad you found something worth thinking about. I don’t find enough time anymore to just think…
All my life a running theme in my head was, “don’t do anything too dangerous. You don’t want to get hurt or die.” I just turned 41 last year. So more than likely buying a scooter was a mid-life crisis event for me. When I ride, I still hear that old nagging voice telling me I’m an idiot for doing something so dangerous, but now its drowned out by the voice that is thoroughly amazed and in awe at what I had been missing always taking the speedy and efficient (and safe) route in a cage. And that was a literal and figurative cage I was in. Now I am free. If I die tomorrow in an accident, at least I felt free for this little time.
What you’re experiencing and thinking about is similar to my own experience — especially the amazed and awed feeling when I discovered riding. For me it came ten years later than you but with similar force.
While I don’t relish the idea of an accident I do feel better that I’ve experienced a little freedom from the little tyrannies of living.
Ride well and be safe Tyson and thanks for sharing here.
“I asked a lot of questions and released a lot of baggage.” I like that.
I thought I’d released a lot of baggage on the way home from Alaska, three years ago, but apparently it just got displaced to another part of the confused storage space that is my brain.
I am hoping, some forthcoming “alone time” will generate answers to unclear questions.
Baggage is a funny thing for me. No matter how much I release it seems more just appears. I like to think it finishing with things — especially the unclear questions. But I’m resigned now that there will always be unclear questions and painful answers. Engaging them is a better way to live than pretending there are no questions. Or worse — escaping from them in any manner of distracting activities — riding included I suppose. For me, happily, riding has not been an escape. It has been a full frontal assault on the stuff that bugs me…
“Right On”….(as was the vernacular at some point in my life)
Right on man…
Big Valley is special…hopefully always will be.
After living near Reedsville for a number of years…it is my second mythical home.
On a recent trip I did note a few buggy Amish, with cell phones, while clopping. Texting while clopping?
Ride on…thanks
The Amish community in Big Valley, and all of Pennsylvania, continues to grow. Kind of amazing how many buggies are out on a Saturday morning. I didn’t watch closely enough to detect cellphones but a colleague at work who lives out near Rebersburg says there are many Amish wireless hotspots so I suppose they have their iPhones too. At least some.
It does fell a bit mythical there — like passing through another time.
Thanks for commenting. Be safe on the road…
We are all on some sort of spiritual journey in search of answers about ourselves or are existence. Although many of us may never realize it. Whether it be finding ones self, the purpose of life or simply a higher love. Anybody who is in a place in their lives to be asking “higher questions” is in a very special and personal relationship with their God, their Universe or Mother Nature. (what ever we may call “IT”)
A motorcycle or scooter is a wonderful place to do any deep soul searching of any kind. The focus is on the task at hand. (riding safely) Only the bike, your surroundings, your thoughts and the feeling of the wind passing (at least for me) puts my mind in the perfect place to let go of my problems of today, tomorrow and yesterday.
Then factor in the beauty of Big Valley. I have enjoyed the grandeur and the simplicity of what the valley has to offer. It’s a wonderful place to find yourself lost in thought. Steve, I have really enjoyed your reflections on your day and your “big picture”!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Rick. I learn a lot from what people say in comments.
I think sometimes the words and labels for “IT” can make some nervous. Confusing those spiritual questions with religion doesn’t help. But we’re each on our own journey and find what we will. Riding has helped shine a light on the higher questions as you describe them and for that I’m grateful. The Vespa has taken me on many new paths — ones in the world and others in my heart and mind. That was an unlooked for experience.
It’s nice to have something in life that helps to let things go.
I never consider the danger of riding. Never crosses my mind while on the road. Perhaps sitting here in my office I understand that no protective steel surrounding a rider is more dangerous than driving a car, but so much less fun.
Riding does allow that time alone, but I am so engrossed with the ride and surroundings, I never contemplate my existence. I simply enjoy the moment.
While I don’t ride scared or anything like that I’m always in a defensive mindset I suppose. It runs in the background and is like a computer application running in the background constantly scanning for threats. It’s invisible until needed. Like you, when I’m not riding, I ponder from time to time the bigger threats. Like when I watch a YouTube compilation of accidents. Mostly then I’m thinking “what the heck?”.
Most of my riding is a simple enjoyment of the moment — but sometimes, for unknown reasons, the conversation begins. It would probably be better to not have them at that time but I seem powerless over it when it happens.
Oh well — just keep riding and see what happens!
Thx for the Zen Habits link….frustration…ugh…..The whole aspect of “life is a picture, but we live in a pixel” gets so tiresome……that truth is situational and conditional……convention is a worthless medal of participation…..the moving meditation of turning wheels helps to rediscover some semblance of “center” six and a half decades deep in this journey
“meditation of turning wheels”… what a great image and idea. I’m going to have to steal that t.
There is a lot of frustrating and tiresome thought on these things. I try to keep it personal and close to me without falling into ruts of rules and paths. Finding my own “center” as you call it. There are days though that I’m just thinking WTF?
You are a photographer and a journalist, by dint of your postings. And having been a journalist for any number of years myself as employment found myself questioning the existence of just about everything.
Your friend Paul’s photograph of you in a pensive mood illustrates your own questioning persona. You’ve been snatched from the hand of the Grim Reaper and you have survived the hereafter existence.
Yes, Paul may ride a Duc however suspect he rides it it with the same attitude as you do, the operation of the machine is pleasure, not a race. Nor is life to be a race. All of us Steve are now on the downward slope of life; bottom is ahead and none of us want to know where that is. And too, we don’t want to know.
Perhaps you continue as before, as your own person, directed by the how why where what when rule of writing. Oh and not to be concerned for we your faithful readers shall ensure you don’t go too far over the edge thinking of God or anything else of which you have no direct control.
So when does the Boalsburg Beer Gathering commence? You seemed to really enjoy those excursions just down the road from home.
I never sensed the reaper during the heart attack but as I learned more afterwards I could see that he was probably near. The experience changed me. Diet, exercise, medication and how I think. Too bad it took a heart attack to improve my lot…
For as different as our lives are Paul and I do have similar experiences on the road. His schedule is far more flexible than mine due to his self-employed entrepreneurial endeavors. He’s always calling me at the office, “It’s nice out. Let’s go for a ride. I can be at your office in ten minutes.”. That usually comes as a text while I’m in a meeting discussing communication plans for information architecture changes.
The Moto Hang in Boalsburg starts soon but am not exactly sure when. Early May maybe? It is nice to see all the riders and bikes. I’ll have to look into the details…
“Meanwhile, on the very same day…”
I went the longest distance yet on Melody to where I was to take my road test. (Have to take it again: aced the hard stuff, messed up spectacularly on something simple. Go figure.) Traveled to the test site (Miller Air Park) several days before to figure out how to get there, figuring that if I was going to get lost, do it beforehand – which I did. And in that alone I learned a good deal…about moving out of my comfort zone on the road, about the vagaries of multilane traffic at sustained high-ish speeds, about the sheer fun of riding at sustained speeds without freezing (at last!), and, once again, about not getting too bummed out if at first I didn’t succeed. Oh, yes, another thing: how the GTS holds its own with just about anything on the road, which pleases me and confuses others.
And, the longer the ride, the more varied the thoughts, and a few of those thoughts run rather deep. One certain thing is that I’m never quite certain what’s coming next along the road, literally or figuratively. That’s part of what makes, and keeps, things interesting.
You’re finding what most GTS riders find — it can do a lot more than you ever considered. While it’s no fun to ride on the expressway it does run on without complaint. Gets beat around by the vehicle windblast more than a heavier machine but still is fine.
What fun to ride without getting cold! The older I get the more I enjoy warm weather riding.
As far as your testing and such — you’ll get to where you want to be. No rush.
Ride safe!
Throughout the years of my life I have grown to appreciate the subject of TALKING WITH GOD to mean a two-way conversation. It is not just me talking to or at God and expecting him to hear and answer.
I have come to realize that I talk to God in PRAYER and He talks to me through His Holy Word as found in the Holy Bible.
I have also come to realize that if God is going to talk to me I have to be ready to really listen and obey. “Blessed is he who hears the Word of God and does it!”
God be with you on your spiritual journey as you follow Jesus who said: COME! FOLLOW ME!.
Talking, expectation, listening and obeying. No easy roads there. Taking up a journey takes a leap of faith beyond those words which for many are problematic I bet. I read somewhere that the words aren’t that important but rather the attitude in the heart is…
Steve – I enjoyed reading this post very much, and found myself reflected in many of your statements. I especially liked the “talking to God” part without any pointed finger to this (organized) religion or that, because that is not what it is about anyway.
It is about the spiritual connection to one’s life and purpose, and past and future. Judging by the many insightful comments you received here, I am not alone liking this particular post a lot. Plus the great spring photography, of course…
While I sometimes sense myself part of something larger I can’t ascribe it to religion. Finding a spiritual connection has been something I’ve pursued in my own manner for a long time. Sometimes the path is clear and at others lost completely.
I’m glad you found something worth thinking about. Life is a grand journey isn’t it?
There are a lot of comments. It took awhile to read them all. It’s fun hearing how people look at their lives spiritually. I guess the way you talked about spiritual things left enough space for other people to express themselves and they felt safe that you wouldn’t judge them (and you didn’t).
I always find something valuable in the comments people choose to share. Talking about spiritual subjects can raise alarms, or at least I was concerned it would. There’s always a line I’m looking for when sharing in a blog post, a line between what’s public and what’s private. Hard to know where it is sometimes…
It’s probably best that you are considerate about others that way. I guess you have some responsibility on the blog because you have so many readers and they look to you not to unexpectedly push their buttons.
I do have similar conversations Steve. They are definitely with my best friend, myself and this really works well for me. It’s interesting and curious and fitting I suppose how I will reflect on something I did badly and wince at my decision. That happens quite a lot. I’m not the least bit religious but I like how you put it. On the Road and talking to God. The wincing is more often than not because I was young and stupid. It’s a reminder to be smarter and that is my goal along with having fun and being happy. I know after 60 years I am on a good road. I don’t wince about the recent decisions.
Wincing at the past. It happens for all of us I suppose. If you aren’t wincing you probably aren’t living which means demonstrating the normal human failings….
Thanks Buddy.
Brent