As much as I love to ride there are days that I don’t. The reasons vary from sloth to injury with a myriad of rationalizations, excuses and justifications in between. Over time I’ve learned nothing is as simple as it appears and whatever is going on in my head is always worth inspecting even if it makes me an uncertain rider.
Independence
I was raised to be independent, take care of things, not complain, and move on. Attendant to that way of functioning in the world is what I call the “know it all” personality that reduces everything to a simple formula with little attention to the details that make every person and experience unique. It may be what makes slogans so seductive – everything from “Just say no to drugs” to “Just do it”. I certainly lean toward the easy solution that avoids the troublesome and messy landscape of emotion. In that place I can become an uncertain rider.
Yesterday morning my head was clogged with concerns and worries creating a swirl of anxious thoughts about everything from the manner in which I would repair a section of drywall in the bathroom to figuring out how to tackle production of 60 online courses when I get back to work. With my brain switching quickly from one thought to the next it was difficult to focus mental or physical energy on anything including riding.
Not Riding
Every rider has reasons not to ride. Those reasons provide the framework to evaluate situations in which our skills, expertise and comfort fit. It’s different for everyone – a framework that keeps one rider smiling may terrify another. Finding personal limits is scary because it may mean you’re different than everyone else. In some riding circles being different is not a comfortable position. The same often applies to life – I think of my return from Germany in 1964 with a brand new pair of suede Lederhosen thinking they were the coolest thing ever. Then I wore them to my 5th grade class…
Self Portraits
I stopped on the way to the Pump Station Cafe to make this self-portrait because I knew something wasn’t quite right and there are times when turning the camera my direction helps diagnose problems. (A gift from long ago via Ralph Hattersley’s book Discover Your Self Through Photography
So here I am – what do I see?
First, it’s cold outside and I’m wearing jeans instead of my armored overpants. Diverging from wearing all the gear all the time always means something. In this case I didn’t really want to ride and wasn’t sure why I even got on the scooter in the first place.
Second, I’m standing in the water. I chose the spot to park the Vespa based on the photographic possibilities offered by reflections in the water. Not paying attention led me to stand in the water. Not paying attention while riding, especially on a cold, wet day can lead to poor choices.
On Down the Road
On this day I moved on to the Pump Station to write in my journal, eavesdrop on conversations, and slowly sort out my thoughts. An hour later I was at home doing chores. An hour after that I was back on the Vespa with all the gear, riding into the gloom, no longer an uncertain rider.
Neat photo…
Looks like you’re standing on ice, air bubbles beneath.
I lurk here now and then, Steve.
I own six motorcycles, (BMW R80, Moto Guzzi 1000, two GoldWings, a Valkyrie, and a Yamaha Super Tenere), and just bought a used 50cc Taotao to facilitate grocery-gettin’ here in retiredland.
Researching how to get a few mph more out of the little bugger I realized maybe I’d be better off just buying a little more displacement.
The 50 will work this Winter. But I’m thinkin’ about 150cc’s might be nearly perfect… Interstate speeds possible on a scoot not much bigger than the 50. Yeah, I know most of the “downs” about the Chinese machinery, but I’m interested to wait/watch and see if this parallels the Hyundai/Kia scenario.
In the meantime, I’m havin’ a BALL going 37 mph!
I enjoy your writing. Don’t stop.
Wow — those are some big machines compared to the 50cc Taotao. I’ve thought about the addition of a 50cc Honda Ruckus to my garage for a long time — the slow travel is seductive. And difficult. Every trip is like an adventure. I was able to ride my Vespa LX150 on the interstate but it wasn’t fun. And I was at the slow end of traffic.
Be safe and thanks for stopping in to comment!
Chinese scooters are what you make of them. The 50cc engine is almost bullet proof in comparison to the 150cc. If you want a bullet proof 150cc the Yamaha SMax is the class of the field right now. It has a top speed over 70 mph and is as reliable as an ax.
Thanks Jim.
I’ll start checkin’ eBay to get a feel for the market.
AsJay Leno mused while road-testing a Mazda Miata: it’s generally more fun going fast in (or on) something slow than going slow on/in something fast.
The reasons not to ride sometimes lie in the machine as well. Some little niggling doubt that something just isn’t right here..don’t ride today..
These little fears are also worth examination. The more time you spend with your machine the more you get to know every little thump and squeak; take a moment when these feelings hit as the subconscious might be telling you something important about the mechanical health of your ride =)
That’s true — mechanical issues take on a life of their own. When you think about it there are many reasons not to ride…
I have been very distracted on occassions thinking of a million things and not fully present in the riding atmosphere and it can result in dangerous situations. So I have learned to pass on the ride when I’m not feeling 100% present. Glad you went home & cleared your head & went out later, I bet it was much more enjoyable!
As for the 50cc Taotao if you love it ride it. I’be thinking of a Honda PCX150 for quite awhile. Check out what Sym and Kymco make as scoots, they have a good rep as well as the yammy’s and Honda’s.
Steve I love the little ruckus scoots. I was on a quest at one point for a Big Ruckus which Honda no longer makes, I believe it was a 150 and was a rolling barcolounger on wheels.
Happy New Year!
Distracted riding, or driving for that matter, is dangerous regardless the reason. Just seems I’m most willing to engage that conversation on two wheels.
I like the 50cc Ruckus scooters. Wouldn’t mind having one as a backup to the Vespa. Or as an alternative slow experience. I also liked the Big Ruckus scooter – 250cc engine in those. If Honda started making something that looked like the little Ruckus with a bigger engine I bet they would sell a lot of them.
Saw the photo and thought “is he standing on ice on a puddle?”
Guess not, still if we can’t play in the puddles how else can we have fun?
Your employer shuttered itself as did others in similar lines of employment
due to the short week between Christmas and New Years. A neede time forthee, Kim and the two dogs.
As to the courses; the whole process shall be frustrating to start.
Just take it easy and hopefully somebody on campus; somewhere, has done so likewise in the past and/or can direct you to a reference point. For you, a new adventure;
if somebody higher up in the command had not thought you capable; you would not have been asked to take on the position.
I can see a desire form ore Vespa rides either real or imagined, more so if the winter continues mild. The Vespa is the safety valve, and of course your better physical situation post heart problems.
We’re on your side so if you have queries or need to let loose we your readers shall well understand.
I thought I was past playing in mud puddles. At least I should have waterproof boots on when I do.
Definitely have more time for Kim and the dogs during the break. The whole time off experience makes me think more about retirement…
I got the nod for the online course development because I used to head up the E Learning Group some years ago. This time we have a time crunch. Exciting times ahead.
At the moment no queries or rants at the ready — just moving along with life as normal. Whatever that is.
Great image! Wishing you a happy and safe New Year!
Likewise Michael. Be safe on the road and a Happy New Year!
Very nice self-portrait (glad to see we’re avoiding the “s” word here). Your Photographer’s Mind seems to have been seriously engaged regardless of whatever else was or wasn’t fully engaging between the ears that moment.
Jeans are my standard lower-body wear on the Vespa, because…it’s all I have at the moment. My standard jacket is a very good cycling jacket, but not exactly heavily armored. That’ll get taken care of relatively soon, as I’ve just found something reasonably priced that looks the business. (Meanwhile, I finally scored a pair of serious cold-weather gauntlet gloves as of yesterday.)
Beyond hardware/software: the “to ride or not to ride” thing for me is usually hard-edged practical: It’s soaking wet and I don’t have proper wet-weather gear just yet; I’ve got assorted technical headaches that are preoccupying me just this moment (although a quick ride might actually clear my head sufficiently to better tackle said headaches); I’m a bit on-edge about something (hit thumb with hammer/argument with Sig. Other, and so on): this is a time where I put my coat on and take a walk, not ride…even on the bicycle. I never ride anything when I’m upset – and I’m sure I read stat about the percentage of road accidents involving agitated people; And, of course, Distraction. This speaks for itself. I might not want to be operating a blender in that state.
And: lederhosen in Fifth Grade? Ouch. Feel your pain, Steve.
My photographer brain is almost always on. I’ve been making photos for nearly 50 years and the process is like breathing. At times it can screen out more important stuff.
I wore jeans when I started riding but when I dropped the scooter on a snowy road I learned quickly how little protection jeans offer from impact. So I ordered a pair of Tourmaster Overpants that I used for years. Jeans underneath an armored, abrasion resistant, water resistant outer pant. And very nice in cold weather.
Sounds like you have a clear idea of when to ride or not ride. So many things to consider. The big step is willingness to not ride.
Lederhosen. They were so cool too!
I’ve been photographing not quite that long (40 years-plus), but that part of my brain is almost always active, to the point that I’m frustrated that I often don’t have a “proper” camera on hand (film or digital), and the camera in my phone, nice as it is, falls short too often. One of my “lesser” pocket-35 cameras is definitely going into the glove box, somehow.
Might take me a bit to get the pans thing totally together, although I’ve actually seen a pair or riding jeans with strategic bits of armor – we’ll see. Getting a proper jacket is a bit more urgent at the moment, but one won’t come far behind the other. 🙂
I almost always have the Canon G15 with me. It does a fine job in all but really low light conditions. Shooting RAW files allows more flexibility in processing and enables squeezing the most from every pixel.
As far as armored clothing goes — you can underestimate how good it is to be wearing until you fall without it.
Another nice essay. I have what I call my “three strikes” policy, though it frequently is only two. If I’ve slept badly and in a distracting mood, I’ll call it off. I’ll factor in other things like bad weather….drizzle or rain, wind, cold. On a day I’m feeling “on,” none of that will stop me. I always would prefer to ride, but it feels wiser (and safer) to let some things stop me. Incidentally keeps my wife happier most of those days too. One can’t dismiss the scored points of agreeing with your other half. ;o)
I may be a step ahead of you. Finished my bathroom drywall repair last night. ;o) Oh, and if you’re feeling sentimental about lederhosen, I have a pair from the ’70s that might fit……
I need to pay more attention to how my wife feels about my riding. I often venture out without a thought to any concerns she might have regarding weather, or just a bad feeling about the day. Points aside, it’s a good thing to consider those concerns.
Just pulled out the old drywall and looks as if I’m going to have to pull off more at a corner that isn’t square. I’m thinking now of replacing with cement board and putting ceramic tile in that area. I think I remember how to grout tile…