This post began simmering in my brain after reading a post on 2 Stroke Buzz titled A Minivan for your Testicles. Kim and I have been watching the FX show called Sons of Anarchy — a soap opera on the drama within and around an outlaw biker gang in California.
There is a special kind of macho surrounding bikers. While I’m not sure how many there are anymore (List of the Top 10 Biker Gangs in the USA) you see a lot of the biker style on the road. And riding a Vespa certainly doesn’t fit in that style. And when I saw the picture associated with A Minivan for your Testicles it got me thinking of all the good natured and not so good-natured ribbing I’ve gotten from other riders about the manliness of a scooter.
The picture below says it all.
The look and style certainly fits with the idea of a minivan. I have my own little minivan. I never realized I had a style.
And I agree, a scooter is just as dangerous as a motorcycle. Woe to those riders in shorts and flip-flops who feel there’s no need for a helmet because they’re on a scooter. And so I come back to the Sons of Anarchy.
The images and styles reflect on the TV show reflect our collective consciousness of biker gangs. Almost. The producers have carefully put helmets on all the bikers. So the image is a bit watered down though not to the level of the Black Widows in Every Which Way But Loose where Clint Eastwood and his ape are pursued by some bad bikers.
Image is one thing though. The real message is in a rider’s actions. And as simple and obvious as this seems to me it doesn’t seem to be the driving force behind what makes for a good, macho ride.
I’m sort of pissed to find out that I purchased a minivan without even knowing it. No wonder I get no respect on the road.
Steve, as long as your Vespa minivan doesn’t have wood on the sides and a yellow “Baby on board” window sign, you’ll be ok.
The slaughterhouse rally got double-booked with a “Devils Diciples” (sic, ha*) poker run a few years ago. We got there a day earlier and drank the roadhouse dry, when the first few Diciples showed up, they seemed to be pretty intimidated by us, plus we had beer, so we were in charge, ha. Once the rest of them showed up in the morning, it was a different story, but biker gangs are the same as any ‘gang:’ strength in numbers and costumes, underneath they’re just insecure dorks like the rest of us.
The misspelling of “DIciples” inspired the name of my wife’s biker gang, the “Black Windows.”
(BB, 2SB)
This is interesting stuff, I wrote about this topic on my blog as well. I started out on the back of a biker’s Harley, fell in love with riding on two wheels, not so much the biker. I then went out on my own on a scooter, LX150 (red n shiny) and found that I got a lot of what you’d call “respect” on the road from Harley guys – ’cause Vespa is the HD of scooters. Still, I felt like I wanted the experience of shifting – so I recently moved to a bike (Suzuki TU250x). In a perfect world, I will own both a bike and a Vespa.
Here’s the thing – stereotyping exists in both worlds. Bikers think for the most part that scooter riders are “f*gs”. Harley riders think Kawi riders are a menace. Kawi riders think that Harley’s are Barcaloungers. Vespa riders think that all other scooters are crap. All other scooter riders think Vespa riders are rich snobs. Scooter riders think that all cops suck. Bikers include cops in their ranks. Cops sometimes ride scooters, but never gay Vespas, BV500s are their ride of choice. Some scooter riders think that anything over 150cc is no longer a scooter. And of course, I’m stereotyping all of them for argument’s sake.
The point is, a lot of folks buy in to the club mentality, belonging means that exclusion will naturally be part of the equation.
I used to go to biker parties where a number of 1% MCs hung out. The rules were staggering. Don’t speak to anyone unless you’re invited. They can’t speak to you without permission of the President of the MC you’re with. If you’re a woman, you can speak to other women, but that’s it. If you speak to a man it will be the MC’s responsibility to kick his a**. And don’t talk to your boyfriend, this is man business.
Then I went to a scooter party. If you don’t ride a vespa, don’t bother talking about your ride. Don’t wear leather, the uniform here is tight hipster plaid cotton shirts. Bitch about friggin’ cops, and how they’re out to get the harmless scooterists. A side note: here, in Brooklyn – I see scooterists having no respect for the law or basic safety. Lane splitting irresponsibly, running red lights, buzzing around like little invisible bees, removing their plates and scratching off VIN numbers.
The bottom line is, ride what you love, ride safe, resist the stereotyping, and don’t give a heck about what anyone else thinks. It’s about being up on two wheels, and anyone who’s truly about that (and not the schoolyard dynamic) will give you the thumbs up!!
But you already know this!! Love your blog – keep the shiny side up and keep taking those splendid shots…
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(edited for an important spell correction)
Wow Claudia, I don’t know about NYC, but the president of our club, PVSC, is a cop. And the NYPD spent years riding Servetas, some of which you can still find. And it appears that you aren’t familiar with vintage scooters, you can have your scooter and shift it too. And everyone knows that Lambrettas are better than Vespas ; )
Dear Steve:
Please tell Claudia she is welcome to join our BMW club — The Mac Pac — even though she rides a Vespa. There is none of that stupid club mentality evident with our guys; and besides her Vespa has to be a lot nicer than than piece of crap Suzuki that Mike Evans shows up on.
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
I was proud of the Minivan for your Testicles comment (I’m a regular reader of The Oatmeal). I thought it was funny!
And what’s wrong with minivans? You ever try to have a cookout at the park from the back of your Mazda Miata? NOT HAPPENING. All vehicles have their place.
Heh-heh! Never thought of any of my Vespas as “mini-vans”, but I do consider my MP3 to be, comparatively speaking, an SUV.
Our scooter club welcomes any two-wheel rider. Three wheels are welcome, too -:)
Doug: No wood, just dirt and grime on my minivan. Speaking of minivans—just this evening from Kim’s lips emerged the phrase, “We should buy a van’.
There must be something in the air.
BB: Strength and courage comes with numbers for sure. And with booze at times.
I resemble the insecure dork theory. It may be masked better since I ride alone. Perhaps I need to start a gang of one…
claudia: What’s your blog? I could have sworn you posted that you moved onto a Ducati 696?? I must have imagined it. But from Harley to scooter and then on to Ducati is an interesting path.
My experience with gangs and groups is severely limited. From your descriptions I don’t think I would flourish in any of those cultures. I just like to ride.
steve: Didn’t someone recently start to manufacture Lambrettas again? Maybe we’ll see some new police scooters.
Mr. Riepe: You are large-hearted and kind opening your exclusive riding organization to women. And observant in your critical analysis of riders and their machines.
Rick: I sense a minivan in our future. A traveling machine. I really wish I had the vehicle I took my driver’s test in when I was 16– a 1970 VW Campmobile. I loved that thing. Took one for a test drive a few years ago and observed how really bad they are. Bad brakes, no power, sloppy steering, bad suspension.
I’m spoiled by modern technology. So maybe a Chrysler Town and Country with hideaway seats.
GROAN
Chuck: You are absolutely right about the MP3 being an SUV. My limited experience with them has be so impressed. Someday I will have one or something like it. Stable, sturdy, sure-footed and go go go.
Steve, I should have mentioned that I’m currently driving a 2010 VW minivan (built by Chrysler for VW). It’s a great vehicle for hauling dogs and stuff around on trips or just being able to load up two other couples for going out to dinner. No wood on it either. I’m able to trade cars often so it will be gone by Christmas and I’ll miss the cargo space but not the 18-21 mpg.
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Doug: We’re renting a Chrysler Town and Country for the trip to Maine this fall. If it turns out to be the car of Kim’s dreams we’ll probably be trading in the truck for one.
It will make a good photo vehicle with easy loading and unloading of gear. And the gas mileage isn’t much of an issue since we put so few miles on our cars.
But it is a minivan…