I’ve not posted in over ten days and I have been avoiding this one for over a month – from the time my friend John rode his BMW into a garbage truck on the way to work. The Pennsylvania State Police cited him for riding too fast for conditions. As John commented “You should be able to stop for something as large as a garbage truck.”
His well ridden (Iron Butt rider) motorcycle won’t see any further service and sets in pieces at his home. And physically the future is cloudy.
His injuries were severe with a month in intensive care and weeks more in acute care. Dozens of medical procedures, operations, and hundreds of thousands of dollars later he’s still in medical limbo on whether he’ll be able to keep his right leg.
Multiple compound fractures, infection, and failed muscle grafts have created a ponderous challenge for John and the medical team. The hospital he’s being treated in has wireless internet access so John has sent numerous dispatches in the way of images, PDF files, and PowerPoint presentations.
I’ve included a few to give you an idea of the physical nature of his injuries. I’ve not included the more graphic ones from early in the process.
For the past few weeks I’ve noticed the accident is present while riding. Situations appear while riding that requires consideration and assessment. That process has come to include a scenario for catastrophe – a direct result of thoughts about John’s accident. I’ve always been aware of the risk that comes with riding but I have begun to wonder about regret.
Like pilots who don’t talk about crashes I question my own mental turning of this subject. For good or ill it is the way my mind works and I don’t easily let stuff like this pass. No matter who or what is at fault in an accident a person is left with their own situation. And I suppose everyone would regret an accident, a bad decision, an unfortunate circumstance. I ask myself thought would I regret ever having gotten on the Vespa if I found myself in John’s situation. If I was spending time looking at an injured leg not in control or sure of what was going to happen. Would I? Would you?
Weighed against those thoughts is the question asked at the end of my life “Would I regret it if I stopped riding or never rode at all?” That answer would be different for everyone and dependant on what place riding occupies in a person’s life. For me, riding is more than transportation and it surpasses recreation. It touches something spiritually fundamental in me the same way photography and writing has. I would be diminished if I stopped riding.
Many riders do stop after an accident. I’ve not considered stopping nor have I become fearful on the road but something has changed. Perhaps I’ve matured. John and I have not talked of regrets but he has said the accident has put him at a major life crossroad. He’s not sure if he’ll be able or willing to ride again.
Surgeons have attached a vacuum pump to the severe wound on his leg in hopes of eventually making it ready for a muscle graft to allow the leg to finally heal and save his leg. It’s a day-by-day assessment.
So I continue to ride to work and make the occasional trip through the countryside with my camera. Riding down the road I’m aware that I am solely responsible for anything that happens to me. I’m not talking about legal responsibility but actual responsibility for living. It’s not a matter of right and wrong. I am the one who has to live in the circumstances I find thinking about this stuff has taken a bit of the luster from the road.
I rode home in air liner that had to take two passes at the runway and pulled up steeply in the first attempt. I’d have been bummed to have died. But I’d have been more bummed had I not enjoyed my life getting there.
Mindfulness is all you can bring to life, but you are going to die one day and that’s certain, no matter how much this culture tries to enable you to ignore that fact. Death is certain, your only choice is how to get there.
Too fatalistic for me, Mr. Conchscooter. Sure, we all have to die, but we’ve got a responsibility to our families and loved ones to take care of ourselves and minimize needless risk. Especially true if we support children, which I do.
If you believe in religion (and I do not, but I’m just sayin’), you’ve also got a responsibility to protect your life so you can continue faith and good works as long as possible. Almost all religions have that in some capacity, whether it’s the Buddihist search for enlightenment, Hindu karma, Protestant faith or Catholic good works.
With all that said, I enjoy riding my scooter to work, and I’ll keep doing it. But I take extra care and stay mindful of the risks. I like to think that I’m at lower risk for an accident due to my heightened awareness. No way to know if that’s true, of course.
I struggle to understand how the second comment differs from the first. Degrees of fatalism perhaps?
For those of you with a greater responsibility and purpose in life, then an accident like this puts things back into perspective. But if riding is a part of your lifestyle, it’s different.
I wrote on my blog a month ago, that I visited my buddy in the hospital, who got T-boned by a jeep. He lost the bottom half of his leg, and he vowed to get back on his bike, because riding became a part of his life.
I lost my right leg in a scooter accident 16 years ago. It slowed me down for a while but in the end it just made me more determined to never stop doing what I like to do. I still ride every day and have bought a new 07 Reflex to continue the journey on.
I’m hopeful that if I had to face this kind of choice that I would choose riding. But, what kind of spousal and family pressure does one face after such a horrific accident? I hate to think that I would never ride again, though I know if I live long enough that day will come. Though my dad is 73 this month and he rides three different bikes, so there’s hope for all of us to ride into our senior years.
conchscooter: I agree with you and try to make the most of the moments I have. I certainly don’t want to rush towards the end but it is there waiting. OUr culture does make that fact something not for polite company. That’s why I posted it here….:)
rickrusselltx: You and Mr. Conchscooter are sharing similar ideas though probably illuminated from your differing circumstance. I know that I try and manage and reduce risk but as you say something bad could still happen. We all have to decide if we are willing to take the risk in light of things that could happen.
steve: I read your post about your friend and I could relate to that feeling of not knowing what to say in that kind of situation. I think people are pretty resilient when they put their mind to it and can do pretty much anything. It’s good to hear that Bernie is not going to let his misfortune get in the way of what makes him happy. If someone wants to read your post they can find it HERE.
anonymous: Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the new Reflex. It’s good to hear that you are doing what you want to do.
joe: I suppose none of us knows for sure how we would react. I too would like to think that I would keep on riding. And I hope I am still going strong at 73!
Here’s to safe riding for all the scooter and motorcycle riders out on the road!
Steve, I am sorry to hear your friend is not recovering better. I hope things turn better for him quickly!
I had an accident a couple of months ago on my scooter. I wasn’t hurt badly but enough it did alter the way I ride.
Be safe out there!
Right or wrong takes on a new meaning when one is on a 2 wheeler. “Dead right” comes to mind.
Steve, both you and your friend are in my thoughts. I went through the experience of being hit head-on by a car while riding my scooter more than three years ago and it still affects every ride I take.
We have been thinking about your friend John and wondering when we would have more news of him. It must be difficult for you to write about and we want you to know how much we appreciate it.
Recently there was an article published in our local newspaper called, “Despite life-altering crashes, motorcyclists won’t give up”. We devoted our blog on Nov. 21st and put a link to the newspaper article.
But we have to say that this post regarding John and his recovery difficulties was much more thought provoking and has left us with emotions and feelings that we cannot seem to justify with words.
Life holds no guarantees about our safety. I can give up riding today and never have an accident on a motorcycle. However, tomorrow I can get needlessly injuried or killed in multiple other ways. I do all that I can to keep my riding skills sharp and to ride safely. I am a solo female long distance rider, wife and mother of one child. After an accident, more than 20 years ago, my husband gave up motorcycle riding, much to his regret. Recently, he told me he dreamed he was riding his old Suzuki GS750.
I would be diminished if I gave up something that is a part of me, something that gives me great pleasure and is as much a part of me as my name. I don’t care to live a life where at the end of it all I have are the “would have, could have, should haves–the regrets. I manage risk to the best of my abilities.
It is hard to say what one would do until faced with the situation. I wish the best for your friend!
Steve,
I was going to leave a comment then decided it would be presumptuous to take space here for it. The thing would be long. I’d like to do a post that’s a response to your story here. With your permission?
maggie, crystal: I can’t imagine what it would be like to have an accident. The one time I fell in the snow was startling. No injury just the sudden awareness that I was out of control. That feeling dogged me for days. It is good to hear that you both processed it into something that you could use and continue to ride.
squire: Exactly right.
heinz & frenchie: The article your post linked to was excellent and raised a lot of questions about not only the impact of an accident but the thinking afterwards. Unfortunately the article is no longer available in the free world so someone would have to pay for it from the Sentinel…
sojourner rides: As you say we can only do the best we can to manage the risks and hope for the best. Riding is an important part of my life and I want to continue to embrace it.
rick: I agree. I like to think I know how I would act but you never really know…
irondad: Feel free to post whatever makes sense on your blog. I look forward to seeing your thoughts on the subject.