How much noise is in your life?

Why I Photograph

Dredging through my files I found this old video — a visualization of the kind of stuff I write about now only without a scooter as subject.

Back in 2000 I was in graduate school working on a degree in art and learning to explore my self and the things that motivate me.  After a life of saying (and believing) “My work speaks for itself”, I was pushed to examine, explore, doubt and second guess everything I believed to be true.  Or at least those things related to art and photography. I resisted at first but slowly came to realize the value in understanding what was driving me (or not).

In one class taught by a member of the painting faculty we were challenged to respond and react to a variety of ideas and questions using video — an attempt to expand our ability to think and talk about why we work.  As I thought about photography I began to realize there was little motivation regarding beauty, light or form.  What I found was a method to help strengthen my tolerance for noise — the demands of earning a living be one part of it.

I was doing this before I bought the Vespa scooter and started riding and blogging.  But those things serve the same role now.  Last night I was talking to my wife about this when she asked why I try to do so much.  It’s not that I want to accomplish things — it really is a need to get the noise out of my head.  It builds up, a nervous, sometime frenetic energy that just needs drained like a recurring boil.  Nothing cosmic or romantic — just a terrible aspect of how my brain works.

So the video is a quick reflection of the sort of thing I write about now on Scooter in the Sticks.  We usually had three days to make a video.  Was sort of fun.  While classmates decided to use friends and actors in their videos I always chose myself.  I’m always available, show up on time and don’t complain.

When I’m on a deadline and don’t want any additional aggravation — I ride alone.