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Memento Mori

March 15, 2016 by Scooter in the Sticks 25 Comments

Memento Mori: a reminder of mortality…

an old brick in a frozen bird bathWitnessing Life

Save for the photographs I make for Scooter in the Sticks and a few family snapshots I’ve been an idle photographer.  The darkroom is shuttered and I’ve sold almost all of my “serious” cameras — the Leica is gone along with the view camera.  And with them my desire to seriously pursue any more photography projects. Finally free of the torment of camera work and creative irritations I could relax and enjoy each day as it unfolded.  At least until I found myself picking the camera up each morning as I wandered the garden with the dogs.  Without intention or goal I pressure the shutter on whatever provided interest.  Or not.  I was engaging a photographic process that I knew, at least subconsciously, would stimulate desire.

A desire to see again.

garden details and dogLearning to See

I can’t remember when the camera became a means to see beyond what was revealed to my eyes.  There is more — sometimes wonderful images reflecting the soaring joy felt felt witnessing a magnificent vista, the grin on a granddaughter’s face, or the loving eyes of a faithful dog.  Make enough photographs and you may find something else, something not everyone is comfortable looking at — the march of time.

Writer, filmmaker, teacher and activist Susan Sontag eloquently described a part of the photographic phenomena.

“All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt.”
― Susan Sontag

Wandering the garden with the camera I’m stricken by what is passing away.

bamboo grove closeup of culmsStride with Grace

My lovely bamboo grove — planted 20 years ago and growing into a dazzling array of culms and shimmering leaves.  Such a graceful plant (though wildly aggressive lest one wield a shovel continuously). And then, seemingly overnight, it passes its peak and begins to fade.  The camera sees it.  There is less life ahead. The Phyllostachys aureosulcata surrenders to time’s relentless melt.  Evidence is everywhere.  In the garden, along the road.

In the mirror.

A Belgian Sheepdog in a gardenDear Friend Junior

There are dogs and then there is something more — canines of myth with mystical power to influence behavior.  Junior, our Belgian Sheepdog, has wandered with me for almost seven years now and submitted to frequent encounters with the camera.  Photography can make some knowledge almost too much to bear.  But it also reminds of what is happening constantly.

A dog’s stare — a quiet mesmerization whispering, “pickup that ball”.

sunlight illuminating the hairs on a staghorn sumac branchA Photography Project

Fine hairs on a Staghorn Sumac branch as the dawn comes to the garden.  I work with the camera each morning.  Sometimes for only a moment, a nod toward compulsion that I can check off a commitment to work. Kim loves this tree and her enthusiasm has rubbed off on me.  I’m slow to change in almost everything, including trees.

After a few weeks of making exposures with the camera in the garden I can sense a simmering desire to do something more — a photography project that stares at the memento mori.  Friends have suggested my heart attack last spring has influenced an outlook toward mortality but I know I’ve been photographing that feeling for years, long before the heart attack.

I’m uncertain where the photography will lead but I’ll share evidence here as it surfaces and provides a glimpse of time’s relentless melt…

 

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Film vs. Digital

January 30, 2016 by Scooter in the Sticks 14 Comments

Steve Williams at Saint's CafePhotographic History

Before the Vespa scooter, before marriage and children and Belgian Sheepdogs there was photography. Like the love of chocolate and a draw to the outdoors photography has been a constant companion. Looking through a box of prints and contact sheets is like walking a trail of personal photographic history; an illustrated story of where I’ve been.  The prints also mark an end of a photographic life — the moment in time when film gave way to digital capture of images.  The film vs. digital photography discussions are as boring as which motorcycle or scooter is best.  There is no answer, only utility and preference at any given moment.

My friend and photographer Gordon Harkins made the picture of me at Saint’s Cafe on one of our Sunday morning meetings to share prints and discuss projects.  I don’t remember whether the juxtaposition of me with my Leica M6 was the result of an odd reflection or a double exposure.  It does “feel” like those times.

Steve Williams, photographer, standing in a field outside of Boalsburg, Pennsylvania in the 1980s.Photography in the 1980s

I can’t remember who made this photograph.  My guess is a self portrait because the camera was seldom turned my way by anyone else.  It’s odd to look at now as I try to bridge a gap of perhaps 35 years.  I recognize the Domke bag over my shoulder, the bright red wool Boy Scout shirt by father-in-law gave me, the white tennis shoes I always wore.  An expensive home sits in this field now.  The alfalfa replaced by a sweeping desert landscape of turf and artfully placed trees.

Photography was how I earned a living then.  Any use of it as a means of personal expression was still ahead.  I was fascinated by expanding technical skills and acquiring equipment.  I was approaching the height of my work with ad agencies and corporate annual reports.

I was a hired gun.

Portrait of Boalsburg, Pennsylvania made with an 8x10 view cameraEnter the View Camera

A view camera is a heavy, slow, plodding device.  Not unlike a Harley Davidson motorcycle.  But it’s nature holds unique power to pull you off life’s treadmill and lead you to a different way of surviving until it changes the way you live and see the world.

A couple years before I purchased my first Vespa scooter I was using an 8×10 Zone VI view camera with a heavyweight wooden tripod.  With lens, film holders and other minor accessories it was a ponderous load to use and carry.  Photographically, from a technical perspective, the large format negatives make stunningly crisp, almost luminous silver prints.  I was seduced by these traits independent of image content.  Over time though, a more important power emerged from this graceless beast — the ability to slow down time.

The image of the old, InselBrick sided garage was photographed using a lens that couldn’t cover the entire piece of 8×10 film yielding a circular image.  I experimented with this point of view for a long time as I wondered about what I was seeing.  This view looks across the cemetery in Boalsburg, Pennsylvania toward the Zion Lutheran Church.

Two intertwined tree trunks near Linden Hall, PennsylvaniaNoticing the World

These intertwined tree trunks have posed for me dozens of times over the last 25 years.  The symbolism of my marriage is not lost on me as I have watched them through the seasons grow and age.  The small details all around and my ability to see them has driven my photographic practice and how I process my life.  It started with the view camera experimentation and continues as I work digitally.  My goal has never been to travel to majesty, but rather see it all around.

Trees and powerlines in a central Pennsylvania farm fieldSearching for Meaning

There’s a thread running through most of the images I make — I’m searching for meaning or understanding.  All those “WHY” questions that some say are best left to God.  Still they echo through my head, sometimes quietly and sometimes in a howl.  While riding the journey can often be divided into two distinct categories; the quiet ride that’s a flight of physical pleasure and mental quiet. And the other, an ongoing conversation of the significance of what I’m seeing and feeling.  The camera helps manage that conversation.

Looking at this photograph I still wonder why I made a decision on that day to haul the view camera out of the truck and carry it to this location.  Years later I see a scooter ride through the central Pennsylvania landscape.  Perhaps it was a fortune telling of things to come.

empty farm field and Mount Nittany as seen from Meyer FarmPhotographic Themes

This 8×10 contact print echoes a theme that flows through much of the imagery I create and post on Scooter in the Sticks — the empty landscape devoid of people or vehicles.  The empty places I’m drawn to over and over again.

This scene is three miles from my doorstep but it’s an illusion of the place.  I’m reminded of the lies photographs tell and the warning viewers should heed of everything they see.  The photographer is a magician and the choices which render how something is seen — what’s included and excluded — affects the story.

With this photo if you stood in this place this is exactly what you would see.  Behind me at some distance is a sprawling housing development.  Just over the rise is a highway and shopping center and off to the left another highway and housing development.

My photographs reflect what I need to see.  In a busy, chaotic day, it’s nice to imagine a serene place.

Steve Williams reflected in a mirror with a Mamiya 7 camera thinking about film vs. digital photographyFilm vs. Digital

Before cellphone selfies were the pictures in the mirror, reflections of the photographer in myriad places, all made in hopes of discovering something about myself.  I see my father, the passage of time, a heart attack, a grandfather, someone who wants to ride a scooter.  I know a lot of people who only see fear in the mirror but I’ve always felt it’s a test of my ability to acknowledge the nature of the ride I’m on.

And the ride eventually ends.

Questions of film vs. digital are irrelevant — only the image matters and what I’m trying to understand or say.  It’s been a passenger on the ride for a long time and hopefully will be with me for many more miles.

Keep your camera close.

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Photography Project

January 25, 2016 by Scooter in the Sticks 14 Comments

Shadow of man on snow covered parking lotWandering to Saint’s Cafe

On my way to Saint’s Cafe with a new inkjet print in hand — a gesture toward beginning a new photography project.  Cold and snow have the Vespa scooter at home in the garage sipping electrons from a Battery Tender.

Paul Ruby pondering life at Saint's Cafe in State College, PennsylvaniaLooking at Stuff

Paul Ruby appears with a new print and an old Bausch and Lomb Tessar view camera lens mounted in an old Alphax self cocking shutter.  I’m fascinated by the engineering and mechanical manipulations surrounding old shutters and lenses for view cameras.

Our photo meetings take place in hopes we cajole, pressure or shame each other into creative motion.  Discussion usually revolves around shows, paper, books and other issues that can clog a photographers mind.

Steve Williams with new digital printInkjet Prints

My first 13×19 inch print on Epson Exhibition Fiber paper made with an Epson P800 printer.  After preparing the printing file in Photoshop CC (from a RAW image made with my Canon G15 (Now available as the Canon PowerShot G16 12.1 MP CMOS Digital Camera) I clicked the print button and a few minutes later was holding a dazzling inkjet print.

The image itself was a sleeper for me, a quick snapshot while walking out of a parking garage.  Much later while perusing images in Lightroom did I recognize the strange view as a unique part of State College, Pennsylvania.

Not sure what will come of any photography projects but at least I’m in motion.  That’s a start.

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Simplifying Life

September 15, 2015 by Scooter in the Sticks 12 Comments

Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify.
Henry David Thoreau

Steve Williams with Leica M6Since the late 1990s I’ve been carrying a Leica M6 camera.  It was the perfect tool for the photographic projects I was working on and together we made thousands and thousands of negatives.  I described the camera as “beloved”.

This past weekend I sold it, a gesture toward simplifying life.

Leica M6 with Tri-X film and contact sheetsThe camera is haunted by memories.  Those memories trigger a nostalgic reaction that makes decisions to dispose of things difficult.  For the past couple of years it sat in it’s Domke satchel waiting for another project to come to life even though I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

I almost kept it.  Going through contact sheets and finished prints I was swept up into those moments in silver that I relived in my head.  How could I abandon them?

Leica box in the darkroomStanding in the darkroom I could see the past; the Leica, the image I made in the early 1970s in my apartment, the Ben Hur book I bought at the Warner Theater in the early 1960s.  Details, evidence of my existence are everywhere.  They have weight and I feel it.

The Leica couldn’t sit quietly in the cupboard.  I thought about it.  Felt bad about it.  Made plans to use it.  It consumed energy.  It had to go.

And it has.

Vespa GTS scooter in black and white printWhen Vespa scooters entered by life the world I was experiencing changed as did the photographic needs that arose.  The Leica fell into disuse as digital photography showed its value.  And it wasn’t long before Scooter in the Sticks was born, a different project with different needs, that relegated the Leica into memory.

When I sealed the deal to sell it I only felt relief.  It was one less thing I whispering in my head.

For me, Thoreau was right, life does get frittered away by the little details.  I’m making an effort to simplify life.

Books are next.

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Photography Lessons

September 6, 2015 by Scooter in the Sticks 12 Comments

Camera pointed at a personKim is the creative fire in our home, the one who operates on a different perceptual plane.  When it comes to photography she is way out ahead while I just keep doing the same things over and over.  Last night she taught me another lesson.

Her pedigree is different than mine.  She’s been a professional science writer, published fiction writer and relentless photographer.  I remember a phone message on her answering machine from an editor informing her that a short story had been selected for their magazine award (cash) along with “I had to smoke a cigarette after I read your story.”

I don’t get that kind of reaction to anything I write.

After earning a living with a camera since the 1970s you would think I have things covered in that area but I’m still receiving photography lessons from Kim.  I should add she’s also responsible for dreaming up the title of this blog — Scooter in the Sticks — and just recently devised the road icon in my logo.

self portrait of Steve WilliamsLast night I was looking at a series of images she made using an effects feature on her Canon G16 camera.  Being a creature of habit and perhaps a photographic snob I only use manual settings on my own camera — in this case a Canon G15.  Real photographers don’t rely on tricks just like real motorcycle and scooter riders never trailer their machines to destinations.  It’s that sort of thinking that keeps me trapped rather than free.

Kim set me free (again) last night.

I never knew my camera had effect settings, and if I did I probably wouldn’t have looked at them.  But looking at her series of images set fire to my limited photographic imagination.  Sitting in the chair I tinkered with the Toy Camera setting to make this self portrait.

Vespa GTS scooter on rural roadIt was murky outside this morning as I departed to run a few errands.  Experimenting further with the Toy Camera setting I realized it works to deepen the emotional feel of an already emotionally charged weather event.  To this point, the only time I saw something like this was with images made using Instagram on my iPhone.

portrait of booted feet in fall colored leavesAutumn is not far off now and I can’t recall what happened to summer.  Leaves are already changing colors and falling at my feet.  The days are moving swiftly and if I blink I fear snow will be falling.

self portrait of Steve WilliamsThroughout the morning I continued to play with the Toy Camera setting.  It won’t work for every situation but for certain subjects and intentions it is the right tool for the job.  That’s a big revelation for someone like me who tends to use the same tool for everything.

A gift from a loving wife for which I’ve not devised the proper thank you.

Vespa GTS scooter in a gravel pitThere are days when the desire to ride far and fast is strong.  Especially when the sun is not beating on my back and the world looks strange.  Imagination percolates and I wonder about elves and zombies.  With either, a Vespa is what you want to be riding.

American flag on the porch of Cafe LemontThe view from breakfast on the porch of Cafe Lemont in Lemont, Pennsylvania.  Chili and sourdough bread while watching the world go by and a few minutes to do nothing at all.  I’m still learning how to let go of everything without feeling guilty or keep busy.  Hard to slow down with those thoughts in your head.

Vespa GTS scooter and tin manWhen you’re in a hurry you miss the details — of the road and your life.  Slowing down seems at odds with everything our culture tells us.  More, more, more…

Vespa GTS scooter along a country roadI’ve been reading “The Effortless Life” by Leo Babauta, author of the blog Zen Habits.  He suggests it’s helpful if you’ve ever wrestled with:

  • frustration
  • struggle
  • distraction
  • anger
  • impatience
  • unhappiness
  • relationships
  • goals
  • work
  • being present

This book seems to have been written for me…

Each time I stop to make a picture it’s can seem like a lesson in living.  Or changing.  If only to practice focusing and being less distracted.  Or just being present for a few moments.

Vespa GTS scooter on the horizon with treesI’ve been smitten by the Toy Camera setting for the moment as life takes on a cinematic quality.  Not sure where it will go but I know it doesn’t matter.  One of the photography lessons I’ve learned from Kim is that there are no rules, no expectations, and I can do whatever I want.

That’s a good place to be when visually things look as if you’re riding toward an apocalypse…

Vespa GTS scooter at Gemelli's BakeryOne last stop to pick up a loaf of rustica italian bread at gemelli bakery in State College, Pennsylvania.

I’ve not plumbed the depth of the Toy Camera feature or looked at all the other choices.  Who knows where these photography lessons will go next.

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