Some days something small can trigger an unexpected line of thinking
Life unveils bumps in the road and regardless of preparation it’s hard to know how a person will react. The monster under the bed came become real. With riding it is the mishap on the road, the near miss, the crash, the untimely demise of a stranger focuses attention on the dark side of riding. Riders deal with these events in a variety of ways — training, rationalization, denial or some combination that allows the ride to continue. Or not.
I know the risks in the same way a climber, scuba diver, or backpacker does. Careful preparation, assessment of skill and risk, and decisions made with my eyes open is what I try and do in riding and any other activity that moves me away from the relative safety of home. What I find curious is what happens after an unfortunate event, the kind that would have me asking, “Do I want to keep riding?” I believe I can manage the risk I assume to be safe while riding but I wonder how I would feel if something happened. I know more than a handful of people who have stopped riding after their first accident. I wonder if they suddenly became aware of new information or had they never really accepted the risk? Or was the prospect of riding again too frightening?
When I passed the half-century mark I began to wonder how many years I had left and what would I do if my health or well-being were threatened through accident or illness. I want to believe I would have no regrets and made my decisions with my eyes open. There remains a part of me though that wonders if I am kidding myself. I know we are all riding to the same place but it’s easy to keep that destination hidden from view, from thought, from consideration.
The culture I see in magazines and television offer a bright, carefree and positive road for me to ride on if I want to pay the price. The sun always shines on that road and it’s easy to believe only good things will happen. If I am honest about the risk I assume while riding I know that the sun doesn’t always shine on the road. The possibility exists that I could pass under a gray cloud. There was a time that I would probably consider this subject morbid and not suited for polite conversation (or blogging). That thinking has given way to something different, an understanding that a ride down the road with my eyes open and mind fully aware of the good and bad is more human and alive than any yellow brick road I can conjure.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
When I got up this morning I looked at the Midwest Scooter Enthusiast blog written by Roadbum. He has an excellent post that talks about learning to be still so you can pay attention to the world and your thoughts. I wrote about some of my thoughts while riding but Roadbum has really put his finger on something bigger. Take a few minutes to look at Sit Down and Shut Up.
Thinking of one’s venerability and mortality makes living just that much more fine — fine in every sense from the minutest to the larger than life moments we live each day. You ride for the same reasons I drive (I have little choice since my cameras are much bigger, ya’ know?)
I came away with quite a bit from reading what you wrote in this one. Its a question that seems to reappear when we give ourselves the chance to settle down. I wonder what I’ll think about my life when I hit fifty?
You asked some excellent questions. I can see I’m going to come back and read this post to your blog again from time to time. Its what makes you a great writer.
Roadbum
I’ve had to reassess the risks from time-to-time in my moto-experience. Heck, I’ve even quit riding a few times. However, something always brought me back to it. It’s just something that is a part of me. I minimize the risks as much as I can and just keep going.
John
I cn see where there may be a life-changing event happen. I ride a Burgman 650, and wanted my Dear Wife to ride as well, so she bought a Kymco B&W 250. DW, despite being a loving companion, simply CANNOT take advice from me that she doesn’t want to hear … and so, despite warnings, and the PA traffic manual, she just had to go off away from me on one of her first rides … and took a header over the handlebars when she caugh the scooter’s front wheel in some old trolley tracks. Nothing injured except for pride. But now, there are endless excuses why not to ride … I get to keep the machine turned over and running every clouple of weeks … it’s going in the shed for the winter … and I don’t think I’ll have a riding companion next year, if ever. I hope she changes her mind, but …
Joseph Heller’s Catch 22 – you remind me of Yossarian.
Steve, wonder if I could ask your opinion a bit off the subject. I’ve decided to buy a Vespa for pleasure, sightseeing, and short errands. I’m a bit nervous about riding at highway speeds, and don’t plan to do long-distance, high-speed riding. I’m drawn to the 250GTS only for the comfort, power and stable ride. Besides the extra money, do you see a downside to the bigger 250GTS when really the 150LX is probably all I need? Ever wish you’d gotten the bigger scoot, or are you considering upgrading? I don’t want to buy the smaller scooter and then wish I had more power. Thanks for the great blog. I look forward to your pics and posts. You’ve turned me into a soon-to-be Vespa rider. Jeff
pitchertaker: As I’ve looked at the work you do photographically I have always been amazed at how well you see from a car. I’ve never been good at that. I certainly see better from the Vespa but so far that hasn’t translated into any new work.
Roadbum: Thanks for your kind words. Settling down has some far reaching rewards doesn’t it?
combatscoot: I think the reassessment process is a good thing. My big worry about it is that I will be faced with something I don’t want to face.
eldercattus: That seems to be common with riding and accidents. Maybe it gets into our head that the whole act of riding is unamanageably dangerous. That line of thinking delivers us from any personal responsibility or need to change our approach to things. I hope your wife changes her mind.
hrw115: Yossarian. Funny.
Jeff: When I started riding again 35 MPH seemed really fast. Over time the sense of speed loses it power, at least at scooter speeds, and you find yourself wishing you could go faster. And this is where many who start small move up to bigger scooters.
I’ve had to ask myself why I want to go faster and the answer most of the time is “because I can or want to”. Nothing about needing to go faster. Just desire.
Whenever I think of a bigger scooter I keep coming back to handling and simplicity. The bigger scooters handle well but not like the 150. The mass is different, the water cooled system is more complicated than the air cooled one, and it costs more money. So I choose smaller for now and accept that I can’t race home if I wanted to at 80MPH. I just have to be patient. But I still wish I had more power. Like I wish I could win the lottery, have a candy bar, and so many other things.
You need to decide what you will do when the desire for more speed and power comes along and you can’t have it riding on a 150. If you can rationalize acceptance for some reason you’ll be fine. If you can’t, then get the bigger scooter.
Good luck and let us know what you end up doing!
steve:
another wonderful column and certainly thought inspiring. two weeks ago our local fire chief was buzzing around town on his harley and was hit by an 83 year old man who pulled out in front of him going the wrong way. it was one of those cases where you think, ‘he did everything right, was alert, but what can you do when a car pulls out in front of you going the wrong way?’ the fire chief survived but was busted up pretty good. will it stop me from riding? no, but it sure gives pause.
cheers
rsb-california